Take the Quiz
- Your partner accuses you of flirting at a party when you weren’t.
- They love you so much that they get jealous and this is flattering to you.
- You try to tell them that it isn’t true but they won’t listen and call you a slut.
- You tell them you weren’t flirting but they still don't believe you. You know their jealousy is baseless and it’s not your responsibility to convince them otherwise.
- You want to break up, but every time you talk about leaving, they say they can’t live without you.
- You hang in there even though you’re unhappy because you’re afraid they’ll be lost without you and you don’t want to hurt them.
- You break up, but when they cry and says they’ll do anything for you, you get back together.
- You know that this kind of dependence is unhealthy and suggest they get some counseling to help deal with the loss, but the relationship is over.
- Your partner continually sends text messages to you at work and you’re worried it will affect your job. You’ve asked them to stop but they keep sending them anyway.
- You go to the bathroom to text back every time you get a message and hope your co-workers don’t notice.
- You don’t answer the messages but they start calling on the phone, and the receptionist is getting mad.
- You firmly tell them that they are putting your job at risk and if they continue to call you’ll consider getting a restraining order, because this is not the kind of communication that should happen in a healthy relationship.
- Your partner is a great person most of the time, but when they drink they get mean and say hurtful and embarrassing things about you in public. They always apologizes later and then go back to being really nice. When they drink it’s always to excess and they don't seem to know how to stop.
- You accept their apology -- after all, when people drink they do stupid things sometimes.
- You beg them to stop drinking, but they don't think they have a problem.
- You realize you can’t make someone stop drinking or using drugs, only they have the power to make those changes. If they are not willing to take responsibility for their behavior, you have to decide what you can do for yourself. Al-Anon/Alateen and the NEWS support group are safe places to go for advice.
- Your partner only wants to do things as a couple and is jealous or angry when you spend time with anyone besides them.
- You’re flattered that they love you so much they only want to be with you.
- You feel a little smothered, but think it’s part of growing up to leave family & friends behind when you’re in love.
- You know that there’s no one person who can fulfill all your needs. You cherish the relationships you have with other people and continue to spend time with them and tell your partner that if it’s “all or nothing,” then it’s nothing.
If you answered C to the questions above, you are on the road to a healthy relationship. The scenarios in these quiz questions are all too common, and can indicate very dangerous situations. If you’re being stalked at work, called hurtful names, or being abused by someone who is addicted to alcohol or drugs -- your relationship isn’t healthy. Without professional help, it will probably get worse. NEWS is here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to listen and talk with you about options. Please call us. You can remain anonymous, you can chat with us at (707) 255-6397, or come see us in person at 1141 Pear Tree Lane, Suite 220.
Your life starts with full open doors. As you grow up, the mistakes you make and the paths you choose will determine which door you'll go through. -- Nicholas P., Age 15